There are a lot of big questions about marriage counseling. One of the biggest is “Why?".
Why spend the time and energy for something that takes work and doesn't have a guarantee?
Marriage Counseling, like marriage itself, is an investment.
The school of Marriage Counseling
If dating was the high school of relationships then marriage is the university of them.
And like the differences between high school and college, one is much harder, takes more time and money, but gives you results ten fold.
Many people have no difficulty getting through high school into college but then with the higher work-load and stress, they find difficulties in college.
With these difficulties, should they give up?
Should they drop out of college and take the easy path? They could.
But what most often occurs is that they study hard with textbooks and perhaps seek help from a tutor or a professor.
Marriage counseling likewise can be compared to a tutor of relationships.
A Major Difference
Unlike university studies, however, your emotions and well-being are directly rooted in the success or failure of your relationship.
There is more heaven and hell in marriage than anything else.
Couples will most likely experience heaven in the first part of their marriage. This stage is known as the “newly-wed" stage of a marriage. Because both couples are fully committed in time and energy to the relationship, it seems as if nothing could go wrong.
Sometime down the road, we often get overly involved with other life pursuits that marriage gets ignored. This neglect most often will trigger our less than best self creating a stress in the marriage.
We start a marriage feeling like it is Heaven and then wonder how we ended up being a part of “the relationship from hell" we place as a priority for getting out of.
There are two ways to leave the hell of an unhealthy marriage.
- Divorce or...
- Healing the relationship - possibly with marriage counseling.
Divorce is a way to escape the hell, but it will most likely have many other ramifications that drag out the hell for years after the marriage is terminated.
Marriage counseling, on the other hand, will help you find the heaven in your marriage once again. If done right, marriage will bring you the most happiness and growth than anything else in your life.
Marriage counseling gives you the tools you need to turn your marriage around, giving you and your spouse the opportunity to be satisfied with the relationship.
The Marriage Counseling Toolbox
The art of communication - You and your spouse are different people with different ways of communicating. You will need to find a way to communicate your wants and needs in order to feel loved and essential in the relationship.
Showing and Accepting expressions of love - One of the reasons why a relationship struggles, perhaps to the point of ending the relationship, is because either one or both members feel underappreciated and unloved. Marriage counseling teaches you and your spouse how to show and accept love, so each one feels the appreciation and love that they need.
Self-understanding and growth - In order to understand someone else, we must first understand ourselves. Both individuals of the relationship are responsible to make the marriage successful. But before making peace with each other, each must make peace with themselves. Marriage counseling helps individuals recognize in themselves their worth and also their needs.
Marriage is hard - But Worth it
Marriage is the most comprehensive and intensive personal growth program on the planet earth.
When we are in public we put on a show, in marriage, however, we don't bring only our best self. We bring our whole self - good, bad, and ugly.
Marriage is harder than most relationships because your partner is closest to your vulnerabilities.
You are therefore closer to the faults of your partner which makes it so you have to be more forgiving and patient with your spouse than anything else. It is more important than any other relationship and requires more.
With all of the challenges and complications that come with marriage, the task may appear daunting.
However, the emotional and spiritual growth that come with marriage can only come from that source. In a healthy marriage, a good relationship can give you unending security, support, healing, motivation, and strength.
One thing that daunts people is that marriage is a gamble.
You gamble that the person you fall in love with will continue to hold your love.
However, if we change our perspective from a gamble to an investment with tools that we can learn, than you have a significantly higher opportunity to have a good marriage.
No matter who you are, if you and your partner want to have a healthy relationship with each other, you will.
You have the potential to have a rewarding relationship that makes your marriage worth the investment with more love and happiness than ever before. You can find the heaven in your marriage everyday.