Sometimes I just hate my wife. That doesn’t mean I don’t love her as I do. Sometimes I just don’t like her and really hate is a strong emotion and in reality what I hate is the emotion that she can trigger inside of me.
Just the other day I was on a short drive in Meridian, Idaho from the office to home. On the radio we heard Dr Laura that I have come to appreciate can really sum things up quickly. A young mother asked if it was normal to fall in and out of love with her husband.
In essence, her answer was NO, but YES….
No, That’s not what love is—Love is a commitment and the service we give to another. Yes, It is normal and common to falling in and out of annoyance with someone.
The reality that our emotions come and go is why you and I and everyone need to act nice and respectful all the time so we can enjoy those moments and times to the fullest when feelings are good and sweet.
It’s the commitment that shows love and keeps one in a marriage.
Her story to the young mother was her waking up one morning and seeing her husband in his holly underwear—and thinking to herself—that’s not romantic, and the kids noisy and fussing in the background and you don’t feel like you want any of what is around you. So that is why it is important to ACT like you are madly in love by fixing your hair and putting on your makeup to feel good doing all you can to prime the moments with Love because the feelings come and go. By priming the moments you will have many more of them and more intensely counter balancing the real life challenges that are constantly all around.
I interviewed several couples that had been married over 50 years. Their interviews will be posted later this year sometime. What I wanted to mention here was that focusing on how to make things work and not even considering divorce with the commitment to stay together no matter what needed to be learned was the key to their success in creating a happy and lasting marriage.
Thanks for sharing your time. I hope my sharing is helpful.